30 Days of Hypnosis

When I started this experiment, things had been on a fairly even keel – save for the drama and antics of those crazy bitches I mentioned in a previous post.  Often, those minor tangles seem like a major stressor until you are confronted with something heavier, like your health.  In my case, my gallbladder may have to come out.  In the grand scheme of things, not such a big deal, but for someone who counts among her neuroses a morbid fear of anesthesia, it becomes the only thing a brain can think about.

Doing these hypnosis experiments have shown a consistent improvement, but when my brain keeps wanting to come back to a certain topic, it comes back whether or not I want it to.  If this had come up a month ago, I would most assuredly have lost my mind worrying about all the terrible things that can happen to a person under anesthesia.  This is terribly counterproductive when a book deadline is looming over you like a poorly positioned boom mic.  Not really a dark cloud, because no book deadline is a dark cloud, but it is constantly hanging over you and you can’t really ever relax until that manuscript is safely in the hands of the Fedex guy at Kinko’s.

It is really noticeable how, although I keep bringing the topic up, discussing the possibility of surgery is more constructive than it was six months ago when I had surgery.  Rather than thinking about ways to die during the procedure, my brain is focusing on alternatives to even HAVING the surgery and improving my diet.  The way that these ideas are appealing to me aren’t even as much because I really don’t want to go under the knife, but that I see the potential benefit from an improved diet.  I am actually interested in eating better food for my health.  Either I am officially a grown-up, or this is an extension of the benefit of self-hypnosis that wasn’t present a month ago.  The constant reinforcement that I am worth not having to stress anymore, and that I am the owner of this building, is manifesting itself in the desire to make improvements from the inside out.  The information being transmitted to the subconscious is now being delegated to different areas that need the attention.

Now, if it could just make me richer and more popular!